Azadeh

 Your red for me

               Do not lose your inner fire. Iranians name every year's last wednesday Charshanbe Soori in Iran and they have a special ceremony for it every year. I'm really longing for our Charshanbe Soori here on the opposite side of the planet.Two thousand years ago, our Iranian ancestors believed that life comes from the fire and fire is holy as source of life and energy. Charshanbe soori begins at sunset. People gather together outdoors, eat traditional foods, dance and the special part is that they provide a big wood fire and jump over it and sing for the fire “ Your red for me, my yellow for you ”. It means give me from your energy and life, this ceremony is a national day in our culture that makes us feel  close and united as a nation.

                 Iranian people reunite with each other every year on the last Wednesday of the year. Iranians meet each other and renew their connections. It is a unique opportunity to stay in touch with others despite a busy lifestyle and get aware of everybody's wellbeing. All family and friends bring food and beverage, socialize, eat and dance together while they are smelling burning wood and feel connected again. All the people together request the fire to give us health and fortune in the coming year. However, that opportunity for a big gathering is not available in Chicago because most of Iranian immigrants do not have that many family and friends.

                 Iranian culture is a delicious culture. Iranians have a wide variety of traditional dishes and beverages. Although Chicago is a metropolitan with diverse foods, It is almost impossible to find Iranian traditional foods with original taste which Iranian people love to have in Charshanbe soori. In Iran, in Charchanbe Soori families prepare a combination of vegetable soup and kabab and some ready to use traditional snacks like nuts and dried fruits. All the people bring something and share everything beside the fire . All the nostalgic tastes are there on those burning wednesdays.

               I can not express my feeling of love and happiness on Charshanbe Soories I have attended in my life from my childhood, the sense that Iranian people are an ancient nation. Our ceremonies come  from two thousand years ago. Our fathers and mothers have kept this fire burning together even in the hardest time in our history.They sacrificed to keep our culture alive in any hardship.Now it is our generation mision to keep our culture alive and pass it to the next generations. Since Iranians do not celebrate Charshnbe soori in Chicago and I can't warm myself by the Chershanbe soori fire, I long for my home town more than always on Charshanbe soori and Chicago is colder than ever for me.

               Although Iranian immigrants celebrate Iranian new year in Chicago, it is totally different about charshanbe soori, since charshanbe soori is an outdoor gathering after sunset in the middle of the march so it is too cold in Chicago and it needs an appropriate place which is not available so far. People can not enjoy meeting a few people whom they know here and regret not tasting our nostalgic dishes together. Our participation in the ceremony is just watching photos and videos from Iran and dreaming of jumping over a big wood fire which is sparking in the dark and whispering “ your red for me, my yellow for you ”.

Perfect Night

       

         There are two kinds of people on Sunday morning - those who go to church and those who come back home from their party. If people get on the first train in Seoul on Sunday morning, they can see many young people who look really wrecked and falling and dozing off. I was always the latter since I was independent of my family in my twenties. Not only was I a night owl, I also loved the atmosphere of the night. I lived near the college town, Hongdae, in Seoul and there were three elements that made nights perfect, which were food, music, and people. However, when I came to Chicago, I moved to close to the University of Chicago, which is also a college town, but I was surprised how nights could be so quiet and dangerous. Now that I have lived here for four years, I have gradually changed from a person who loved to crisscross streets at night to a person who is afraid of going out at night.

          At Hongdae, I used to enjoy indie band performances every weekend. Usually, shows started at six and lasted until past midnight. There were always many shows happening simultaneously and people could go to see different shows by foot on one night. Because Korea is very small country compared to the U.S., live clubs are concentrated in one place, Hongdae. Not only live clubs, but also many bars and restaurants were there, and people could hang out until late at night. Sometimes, I was tired of these endless nights. However, at this moment, I realize that I miss them, especially in the winter, which is as cold as Chicago. Street food such as fish ball soup and stir-fried spicy rice cake that warmed my body and gave me energy to enjoy the rest of the night. On the other hand, when I occasionally go to a show in Chicago, I’m disappointed by the atmosphere of the neighborhood. Even though the concert is great, streets are very still and dark, and I can’t see any light or steam from alleys. Thus, it makes me feel that I’m at a strange place and there is no other option except going home. 

        In Seoul, just because the show is over, it doesn’t mean people go home. There is a specific emotion called Jueong in Korea which is kind of affection between people. Hence, Korean people feel sad to say goodbye right after the business so they often have after parties. For this reason, there are always people who want to be close each other after the show. Thus, some generous club owners allow people to have after parties at their small club. In this case, musicians and their fans buy drinks and order delivery such as fried chicken and Korean style Chinese food and hang out all night. I think this is far from American individualism. Before the pandemic started, I had several chances to meet local musicians in Chicago. They were kind and nice but most of them used to leave the venue after the concert. It made me feel they focused on their purpose but were not interested in other’s lives, or maybe it’s because there was no place to go nearby. 

        Lastly, if there was no place to go after the after party and the train has not started yet, I would definitely go to a convenience store in Seoul. In this city, when I’m hungry after midnight, I often think about convenience store food. I know there is a 24hour CVS in my neighborhood. However, I’m afraid of going outside at night because I know there can be robbery, and I know one Chinese university student got a shot and killed last semester even in the daytime. In Korea, there were outdoor tables and plastic chairs in front of the convenience store, so people still could drink and eat some kimbob with instant ramen until the sun came out. In addition, sometimes it became a small gathering. There was a chance to meet friends who were passing by just to hang out. The meeting could be from two to ten people. This is called lighting in Korean which means an impromptu meeting that people didn’t plan in advance. We were just joking around there but felt good. My friends and I called this place “Office”. This common place where I could go anytime is now a very distant place that exist only in my memory. In Korea, I didn’t realize that how safe it was at night.

        Now, it feels like my life in Seoul was just a dream. The exciting nights with the music and parties, the people who had something in common, and the places I could hang out with friends safely seem far away. When I came to the U.S., I thought I could find my night life again which made me feel free. However, instead of finding my freedom, I have become complacent and have adjusted to my homebody life here. Before it is too late, I want to practice getting out of my homebody life because I still have a hope that I can meet the perfect night again. Although food will not taste the same and places will not be familiar, I wish I could make my own perfect night and enjoy it with people.

The Smell of Nowruz

             I no longer feel the Nowruz, Persian new year, vibes. For me, the first day of spring is so special because it gives me a sense of freshness. In Iran, New Year is celebrated on the first day of spring. Just as spring is a time to celebrate new life, as the trees grow green again. However, from three years ago until now, this feeling has faded for me. Chicago is usually much colder than Tehran in March, and the trees have not bloomed yet. Maybe that is why I do not feel like spring is coming as I felt it before. I must say that the beginning of the spring, in Chicago, is always more like fall than spring and it is still cold and colorless everywhere.

            The atmosphere of Nowruz was always unique In Tehran and starting from a month before Persian new year's day. In fact, it felt like Christmas time in Chicago. I can always imagine the smell of samanu, that is a Persian pudding and traditionally made from germinated wheat and water, which also smells good. In addition, who used to go for a walk down the Valiasr street Which is the longest street in Tehran. My cousins and I used to enjoy all the trees full of blooms around and the colorful flowers in front of flower shops in the Valiasr street and large pounds of small redfish, which is symbols of luck for Persian. Now my cousins are no longer around me to go for a walk like I used to go with them. I have tried to bring these vibes to my home by inviting friends to my house to celebrate the New Year together, by doing all the traditional Nowruz customs. Even though it is not the same feeling, at least it makes me feel closer to home.

In addition, in Iran, visiting family elders on the first day of Nowruz is one of the most important Nowruz rituals. The best pleasure of new year’s day for me is when all the family get together and buy presents for each other. I want to admit that none of those gifts are like receiving my special gift from my grandparents. I used to go to my grandparent’s house right after the New Year started to say happy new year and to receive my usual gift from them. My grandfather used to give me, new money that he had always put money in the middle of his Hafez book. Hafez is one of the greatest Iranian poets and my grandfather used to read a poem from Hafez book anytime we gathered. In Persian culture, receiving new money in New Year’s Day is a symbol of blessing for the coming year. when I was a teenager, New year’s days gathering was boring for me, but now I know how much I miss those simple things, especially now because I do not have my grandfather anymore, or my family member in Chicago to visit.

            Finally, I want to say, In Persian culture on the first day of the year, families get together and have traditional food together. In most parts of Iran, typically, people have smoked Persian herb rice and whitefish and side of koko sabzi as New year’s lunch. It is common that before starting to eat, we were prayed together for the health, wealth, and happiness of upcoming days. Since coming to Chicago, every year I have tried to cook the Persian smoked rice in the same way that my mother taught me, but every time it tastes different. I believe because I never can find the rice as same as the Persian one in Chicago. I think another reason could be the dried herbs that I use instead of the fresh herbs that we used to cook with it in Iran. Sometimes I feel the problem is not the taste of the food. Maybe the problem is that I cannot gather my whole family in Chicago and have lunch together.

 I must say that because of the distance from my family, the difference in climate, and the culture of the Iran and United States, I cannot celebrate Nowruz like I used to. In the U.S, the first day of spring is an ordinary day, same as other days, and people work on that day, and it is a workday for me as well. I can say that after moving to Chicago, somehow, the Christmas holiday has taken the place of Nowruz for me. Even if the feeling is still different to me, I would say it is what it is. I promised myself that every few years, I would try to go to Iran during Nowruz, and I would celebrate the new year with my family also friends. Then I will experience those feelings and enjoy experiencing the spring again.

               

Missing My Roots

           Everyone has a weakness, and mine is Ecuadorian food. When I think about Ecuador, I just can think about how I miss the food. When I lived in Ecuador, I enjoyed spending time with my friends and family, eating in a restaurant, or having a traditional breakfast. As an Ecuadorian, I feel proud of our gastronomy. There are many traditional dishes according to each region of Ecuador. I am from Guayaquil, the coast, so we have a lot of seafood specialties. Even though I enjoy every traditional dish that our country has, it is impossible to choose just one favorite. I have many reasons to feel nostalgic about Ecuadorian food. The flavor of the food, the affordability, and the facility to find it everywhere. I used to eat Ecuadorian food every day, but now it only happens on special occasions. 

              The flavor of the food is one of the most incredible characteristics of Ecuadorian food. One of my favorite dishes is called encebollado. It is a flavorful fish soup with onions, yucca, and cilantro. You can eat encebollado with plantain chips, rice, or popcorn (the preference depends on the region you are from). I love eating encebollado with a big amount of plantain chips. It is like touching heaven with your hands. People also eat this when they have a hangover. The flavor of the food is what makes Ecuadorian food delicious. All the spices that we use to season the food give them a special touch. I miss the smell of my grandma’s kitchen while she was cooking with spices. She is one of the best cooks that I have ever known. Something amazing is that people get these spices from nature; it helps intensify the food’s flavor. 

              Not only does the flavor of Ecuadorian food makes it incredible. In addition, it is amazing how affordable it is to eat in restaurants. People can have a good meal with a small budget. Even though there are expensive restaurants, they are five-star. Once, my friends and I didn’t have enough money, so we decided to chip in to buy food. We bought a big bag of cheese bread with yogurt at a typical restaurant in Ecuador. It is easier and cheaper to share expenses with my friends, because I can split the amount, and everyone would pay a small amount of money. Living in Chicago makes me realize how I miss doing this simple tradition I had with them. Chicago has some Ecuadorian restaurants, but they are expensive, and the taste is not the same because they don’t use the same spices that we use in Ecuador. Furthermore, my friends aren’t here, so the experience will not be the same. Despite this, I get excited when I see an Ecuadorian restaurant here, and I want to try everything from the restaurant.

           Besides the flavor and how cheap the food is, I most miss the facility to eat Ecuadorian food in every part of the city. I am from Guayaquil, a big city with plenty of restaurants and variety. You can find almost every type of food from the different regions of Ecuador. Furthermore, my city it’s the principal port, so I can find fresh seafood. My longing for eating those traditional dishes from my city has increased since last year. I used to eat a lot of seafood, and now it is just something sporadic. I remember that if I wanted to eat a traditional breakfast, I just had to drive ten minutes from my house to get there. Eating would make me happy for the rest of the day. It was that simple. Chicago indeed has many Ecuadorian restaurants. My family and I have one favorite, but it takes too much time to get us there. For that reason, we just go there when we are craving something special.

           Having the facility to visit my favorite restaurants in Ecuador at any time is not part of my routine anymore. Moving here has made me appreciate those places, the flavor, and how privileged I was. The food is what I most like from my country. The restaurants here are not as good as in Ecuador and they are too expensive. I guess that it is what I must pay if one of your weaknesses is the food from your country. I also know that moving to a new country is hard, so I am thankful that at least I have the chance to eat Ecuadorian food at any time. It is not exactly what I used to eat, but it has some similarities. I can’t complain about that. Maybe it is not easier to get the food as cheap as in Ecuador, but it is not impossible either.

I took this picture. It is the dish I describe 

Complicated

Every morning when I lived in Mexico I wished students could wake up at nine in the morning and not at six to go to school. Back in Mexico I always studied, so I had to get up really early. The mornings were usually a little bit cold. In Mexico, everything is made out of concrete, so my room got cold pretty easily. After waking up, I said a few words in my mind to the person that allowed such a horrible schedule in schools. Dressing up was also annoying since I had to get out of my already warmed-up bed, touch the cold concrete floor with my bare feet, and put on some cold jeans. My days always started like this and I hated it, but now looking back I realize how simple everything felt. Since I moved to Chicago, it has been complicated trying to get used to how different everything is compared to Mexico. 

The architecture is one the first things I noticed about the U.S. Everything is made out of wood or drywall and in Mexico everything is made out of concrete. Even if it's easier to build with these materials, concrete makes things feel special. I once saw some of the old Mayan ruins and I could only imagine all the things those walls once witnessed. They are so hard that not even time nor nature have been able to destroy them. In Mexico, all the places that have concrete walls seem as if they only get stronger and stronger with each story that unravels in front of them. History is being made and the walls are the only witnesses. In Chicago some walls are thin, and knowing how fast things change here, buildings with these walls will be demolished to make something newer as if nothing that happened in there mattered. 

I also loved the way I learned to express myself with slang back in Mexico. In the U.S I haven’t gotten used to the slang, but it’s also really creative and funny. Back in Mexico, I loved talking to people and the slang made the process so easy. I loved reaching up to someone with the sentence que pedo wey which means in American slang Sup dawg. I love my language and I miss how with a few words a lot is said. Here in the U.S sometimes I feel like words aren’t enough to transmit a good energy when I see someone I like. 

Currently here in Chicago is cold. The winter feels forever and the sun won’t show up every day. In Mexico every day at seven in the morning, if the sky is clear,  the sun slowly rises in the sky and paints the streets with its soft morning shine. At noon, sometimes the sun burned my skin. Even if it was annoying, it gave some color and vitamins to my body. The days last longer in Mexico all year. At six PM, the sun is still up and I don’t feel in a rush to do all my tasks of the day. Here in Chicago in the winter, the sun goes down at five PM and the day feels like seconds. Sometimes the clouds cover the sky and hides the sun away. Even if the sky is clear, the big buildings from downtown cover its light and the streets nor my skin get that sweet shine. When the sun hides and I'm in my apartment I feel inside a sand clock. The day is over and I'm one day older. It feels like I'm just waiting for the sand to pour down.

I miss the everyday experience in Mexico. Walking through the concrete buildings talking with my friends on a sunny day are my happiest memories in Mexico. Chicago has obstacles I have never dealt with before, and it's complicated trying to act indifferent to them and live my life normally. I hate the weather, sometimes I hate the language and some other times I hate the buildings. It drives me mad feeling this since it makes me think I’m not open-minded to new experiences. I miss the simpleness of being surrounded by the things that I was used to and here I have to adapt and mingle within these new different surroundings. 

The Better Service

The Better Service

Every weekend a year ago, my friends and I would order fried chicken to share together, and the chicken would be delivered within ten minutes. That is one of the reasons I really enjoyed the good delivery services of China in the past twenty years in my life. Everything is served fast and with high quality. That reality has forced me to change a lot now that I am living in Chicago. I think Chinese service such as food delivery, package delivery and customer service are the top in the world. Although I miss that kind of service in China so much, I still need to get used to living in Chicago.

Food delivery is faster than on may expect. When I was living in China, I used to live in the college dormitory for about two years. There was no public kitchen in the dorm, so I used to order food twice a day during the week. I had even been a food delivery guy for three months during my vacation, and I knew how it worked. There were so many rules that were set by food delivery platform which I needed to follow. The most important rule is the food had to be delivered on time, so the food would be fresh and hot when it came, otherwise, I would lose money. In addition, I could order food anywhere and anytime. In China, I ordered the food at mid night, if the restaurant was very far away from the downtown. For instance, restaurants in nearby cities, I could always get it at the designated time on the applications. However, in Chicago, it is completely different. Last month, I ordered a pizza online. It took half an hour to deliver to my house, but the restaurant was just a few blocks away. When the food arrived, it was already cold. I was so disappointed because it was too late, so it was a bad idea to order food delivery here. Perhaps I will order less takeout in the future.

In addition, I think package delivery is much safer than in Chicago. I'm also a shopaholic, I prefer to shop online rather than in stores, so I care about package delivery. During these three months after I settled in Chicago, I usually ordered some daily necessities and snacks online. However, three weeks ago, I brought headphones and the delivery guy just put the package in the front yard. In addition, they didn’t conform my identity. At the same time, I didn’t know what I would do if the package were wet or stolen. One year ago, when I was living in China, I could choose to put the package into a receiving machine if I was not at home, when the package arrived, I would receive a message including a pickup code. Using this code, I could pick up the package in my free time. At the same time, if the package was expensive, they would verify my identity before picking it up to prevent theft. I am afraid that the package will be missing someday. I guess I cannot find that kind of convenience in Chicago as in China.

 Furthermore, customer service is much better in China. I always used the customer service when I needed helping. In December, I opened my bank account. For reasons that I did not know, my online banking was locked by the bank. I decided to call the customer service for help. It took one and a half hours for someone to answer my phone call. It was the slowest I ever experienced. Almost two months later, my bank account was unlocked, but some functions didn’t work well. In my experience, this situation wouldn’t happen in China, so I am afraid to call the customer service again. It is too horrible.

Since I settled in Chicago, I have changed a lot and sacrificed a lot. Something here seems to be inconvenient. I may have no chance to get Chinese service anymore. There is no fast-food delivery, no high-quality package delivery, and no efficient customer service. In these three months, I have learned living in a foreign country is very tough. However, I must get used to it because I am going to live in here for a few years. I hopefully believe that it will be getting better in Chicago.

 

A tinto?

I am a lover of short and unexpected conversations that can occur with known or unknown people. When I live in Bogotá, my hometown. I used to have many unplanned short conversations throughout the day with people around my city, Bogotá.  These conversations made me feel that I was on a break between my daily responsibilities, at my job, in the neighborhood, and in public spaces. Since I arrived in Chicago, I haven’t had the same breaks to interact with people, because people here are less talkative than in my country, and my lack of confidence in English is a barrier. Having casual meetings is complicated in a city where everything needs to be planned.

Colombian coffee is more than part of our economy and tradition. It is an excuse to interact. When I worked in Colombia, I used to drink three or four tintos during the day. Tinto is a very small cup of coffee that Colombians drink on breaks to interact with others for a few minutes during the working day and then go back to work. The street vendors sell tinto everywhere. It's cheap, common, and very easy to find in universities, workplaces, cafeterias, and there are even people on the street who sell it from thermoses. Frequently, people at work would offer to treat others to a tinto and had a brief conversation to relax from daily tasks. Even though there are many cafes in Chicago, street vendors are not common. In the stores, there are many types, varieties, sizes, and ingredients that can be added. That confused me at first because I just want a simple small cup of coffee, my tinto.

In addition, in Chicago, it has been difficult for me to meet friends casually. I have some American friends in Chicago, but if I want to see them, I need to plan in advance. It seems too formal to just have a conversation with friends. Moreover, in Colombia I had uncomplicated conversations with my neighbors. While I went to the store that is on my block or when I got home, I would find out about their lives. I could come home from work and talk to my neighbor in front of the house and share about how our days were going or problems in the neighborhood and then continue with my routine. I also miss informal interactions with my friends in the neighborhood. If I met them on the street, it was normal to ask them over. We talked, laughed, and enjoyed life for a moment, without having to be on someone’s agenda. It was just a natural meeting to relax.

Furthermore, people in Colombia are talkative. Some Colombians used to talk to people in line at the supermarket, on the bus, and even if they don't know someone. People are friendly, curious, or maybe gossipy and they talk about their life, but that has never bothered me. It just always seemed funny to me. There are people who told me humorous things and I had fun for a moment. Others who complained about something and with whom I also complained. In Chicago, there is not much small talk in the lines at the supermarket or on the bus. Some people prefer silence and not being disturbed. When they speak to someone, their conversation is very short. People here are polite, but I don't talk to them in order to not bother them.

Since I left Colombia, having casual meetings is unusual. Planning is part of life in Chicago, and everyone knows in advance when they will meet friends. They even know what the weather will be like for the week. I didn’t worry about that in my country, because in Colombia we don’t have seasons.  Now I think it is necessary to plan every insignificant thing. I recognize that there are advantages to doing it. I admire the Americans and their way of thinking in many scenarios, but that does not mean that I do not miss drinking tinto, being invited to a house, or talking to strangers spontaneously, just enjoy the breaks that I had in my life in Colombia. Maybe I can teach some Americans to drink tinto to have short and unplanned conversations
. I hope that in the future, I can find activities here that make me feel that I have breaks during the day.