Complicated

Every morning when I lived in Mexico I wished students could wake up at nine in the morning and not at six to go to school. Back in Mexico I always studied, so I had to get up really early. The mornings were usually a little bit cold. In Mexico, everything is made out of concrete, so my room got cold pretty easily. After waking up, I said a few words in my mind to the person that allowed such a horrible schedule in schools. Dressing up was also annoying since I had to get out of my already warmed-up bed, touch the cold concrete floor with my bare feet, and put on some cold jeans. My days always started like this and I hated it, but now looking back I realize how simple everything felt. Since I moved to Chicago, it has been complicated trying to get used to how different everything is compared to Mexico. 

The architecture is one the first things I noticed about the U.S. Everything is made out of wood or drywall and in Mexico everything is made out of concrete. Even if it's easier to build with these materials, concrete makes things feel special. I once saw some of the old Mayan ruins and I could only imagine all the things those walls once witnessed. They are so hard that not even time nor nature have been able to destroy them. In Mexico, all the places that have concrete walls seem as if they only get stronger and stronger with each story that unravels in front of them. History is being made and the walls are the only witnesses. In Chicago some walls are thin, and knowing how fast things change here, buildings with these walls will be demolished to make something newer as if nothing that happened in there mattered. 

I also loved the way I learned to express myself with slang back in Mexico. In the U.S I haven’t gotten used to the slang, but it’s also really creative and funny. Back in Mexico, I loved talking to people and the slang made the process so easy. I loved reaching up to someone with the sentence que pedo wey which means in American slang Sup dawg. I love my language and I miss how with a few words a lot is said. Here in the U.S sometimes I feel like words aren’t enough to transmit a good energy when I see someone I like. 

Currently here in Chicago is cold. The winter feels forever and the sun won’t show up every day. In Mexico every day at seven in the morning, if the sky is clear,  the sun slowly rises in the sky and paints the streets with its soft morning shine. At noon, sometimes the sun burned my skin. Even if it was annoying, it gave some color and vitamins to my body. The days last longer in Mexico all year. At six PM, the sun is still up and I don’t feel in a rush to do all my tasks of the day. Here in Chicago in the winter, the sun goes down at five PM and the day feels like seconds. Sometimes the clouds cover the sky and hides the sun away. Even if the sky is clear, the big buildings from downtown cover its light and the streets nor my skin get that sweet shine. When the sun hides and I'm in my apartment I feel inside a sand clock. The day is over and I'm one day older. It feels like I'm just waiting for the sand to pour down.

I miss the everyday experience in Mexico. Walking through the concrete buildings talking with my friends on a sunny day are my happiest memories in Mexico. Chicago has obstacles I have never dealt with before, and it's complicated trying to act indifferent to them and live my life normally. I hate the weather, sometimes I hate the language and some other times I hate the buildings. It drives me mad feeling this since it makes me think I’m not open-minded to new experiences. I miss the simpleness of being surrounded by the things that I was used to and here I have to adapt and mingle within these new different surroundings.