A Common Name

     My name is Jeehye, which means wisdom in Korean. When I was forced to go church in my childhood, I could hear my name so many times. People in the church loved the words Jeehye, not me, because my name is mentioned in the Bible a lot. I was uncomfortable in this situation since I was not religious, and I thought that I had a wrong name because I didn't think I had wisdom.

    Unlike church people were proud of my name, I didn't like my name that much. I have two older brothers, and when I was a little kid, I wanted to be like my brothers who were good at sports and computer games. However, I have never been good at those things. I thought this was because of my name that couldn't get the last syllable ho, which means tiger, and my brothers and other male cousins got. Sometimes, I wonder if my name was Jee-ho, I would have experienced different things.

    Moreover, there were always three or four students with the name Jeehye in my classes at school because my name was very common in my generation. There was only one girl who called my name every day. She had told me that when I smiled, I looked like the female actor named Jee-ho who was popular at that time as a neutral and cool character. After a while, the girl started coming to my church. 

    Many years later, my mother told me about a name that my great-grandfather was going to give me, and how she claimed not to give that name to her daughter. I was relieved that I didn't get the name. The name was Gaesoon which sounded terrible to me. It was very old-fashioned name that people would have made fun of me for my whole life. In addition, it sounds like a female slave name in Joseon Dynasty over 500 years ago. 

    Eventually, over the years, I have tried to think that I have a fine name. Even though my mother is still a devout Christian and hasn't given up on me going back to church, she gave me a fine name at least and she is the only one in my family who thinks I have wisdom.